The last few days have been challenging to come up with anything to write about. I have a few ideas, but it just feels like my mind doesn't want to work right to put together the thoughts I want to say. I am in the midst of trying to find clarity on how to handle a conflict. The problem is, all too often, I let the conflict get in the way of everything else.
I don't really like conflict at all. I hate feeling like there is conflict. The more I go through life though, the more I can see why God calls this world broken. There are so many broken relationships because of conflict the world really can't be anything but broken. I know the root of broken relationships is sin and ultimately satan wants our relationships broken because that will create a separation between us and God.
The hard part for me is finding that line of love. I believe God called us to love everyone regardless. I believe sometimes love is tough and sometimes love is letting things go. The hard part for me is trying to decide which battles are worth fighting. I want to do what God wants. I want to love the way God would love.
I've been reading the Bible for quite some time now with several goals in mind. The most obvious one is to know more of God, but I also have a couple other questions that I run pretty much everything I read through. One of which is this concept of conflict and loving others. I've had many discussions about it with others, looked at many passages, tried to understand the different passages where Paul or other apostles addressed it with the church. Yet, the answer has yet to be clear.
I titled today Broken, because of how broken the world seems to be. I know that is why God called us and has offered us the opportunity to have a life that is made whole, but in the midst of life and as I grow older, I can't help but see how many lives that seem out of touch, with the reality of who God is, are completely broken. I don't want this to be confused with me thinking I am better than anyone, because in reality God created us all the same.
As I work through this conflict, my eyes have again been opened to the brokenness that is all around us. The brokenness just creates more conflict and the conflict creates more brokenness. That is the joy of who Jesus is and what He did for us. He came to fix that brokenness and to repair the conflict.
Jesus said "the harvest is plentiful and the workers are few" and I believe that. It's evident everywhere you turn. I have to believe though that there are some that aren't ready to be part of the harvest and aren't "ripe for the pickin" yet. I guess that is where I struggle more often that not when it comes to those relationships. It's hard to sit by and watch as they are "ok" with their lives and don't mind living in the state of being "unbroken" and in "conflict" with God.
I hate being in that place. Being in "conflict" with God hurts when you know it gets in the way of the relationship with Him. That is the beauty of being able to come broken before Him and allowing Jesus to make us whole again.
Anyway, I can't really come up with a good way to end this thought. As you can see it is somewhat of a circular pattern that is running around in my head. I'm just glad God has it all figured out and is a lot smarter and wiser than me.