Tuesday, September 25, 2012


Insecurity is a hard thing to battle.  I am sure we all have wrestled with it from time to time.  For me however, it seems like a life long struggle that really makes me check myself with God quite frequently.

Maybe you have known this about me or could tell from my writing.  I will admit it is much better than it used to be.  God has shown me so many things and I have come a long way.  It is still something that I have to give back to God on a daily basis and ask Him to show me how to learn to leave it with Him. 

My wife once told me that insecurity is just another form of pride and I think that is the truth.  The more I wrestle with it the more I realize it stems from the fact that I have a hard time forgiving myself and accepting God's worth.

I try not to let it control me, but I wonder how much of my life has been shaped by it.  I wonder how much of my life has been less than what it could be because of it.

I look at the life of my kids and imagine all they could become.  They have so much potential.  I wonder if that is how God sees us, but at some point in our life we get hurt and we let it control the rest of our lives.We let something come between us and Him and we reject the notion that He can use us like He wants to use us.  We, like Moses, tell Him that we can't do what He is asking of us.

We were in the middle of a small group series when the question was presented that asked, is it a sin to see ourselves as less than what God sees us?  My answer had to be yes.  I know it separates me from God and the only way to overcome it is to be in constant connection with Him.  Sin is exactly that...anything that separates us from God. 

As I was reading today, my book said one of the best healing methods is confessing of one's sins.  James 5:16 says "Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed. The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much." So that is what I am doing today.  Maybe you struggle with it and now you know I do as well.  Let me know and we can walk through it together.  I think that why God says relationship with each other is so important, because we need each other.  

I mentioned the story of Moses and that even He told God that He couldn't do what God wanted him to do, because he wasn't good enough.  That story does bring me some comfort in knowing that God took someone who was insecure in who he was, had killed someone, and escaped to a place of utter despair and used him to be one of the greatest leaders in the Bible and to really change the course of a whole nation.  It's amazing what God will do if we just let Him.

Pray also for me, that whenever I speak, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, as I should. Ephesians 6:19-20 NIV

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