Fear

I heard today, that "do not be afraid" is the command most stated in the Bible.  I find that interesting as today brought on a sense of anxiousness. 

Over the last two weeks I have been reading and 3 times now I have had something come up where it was specifically about making more of your life.  I find that when God wants to do something in me or with me, He makes things happen in my life that make it pretty evident He is trying to say something.

My dad approached me with the book "Out Live Your Life," I wanted to read another Donald Miller book, so I picked up "A Million Miles in a Thousand Years," and my pastor brought up the book of Jeremiah Tuesday in a Bible study.

I had not a clue what "A Million Miles in a Thousand Years" was about when I picked it up.  It went so well with the other two that I feel somewhat anxious.  I feel like God is again getting me ready to do something.  I don't have a clue what it is, but I feel like He gave me the needed rest that I required.  Now, He has gotten me to a place where He can actually work on me and get me to the place He wants me in my life.

I feel like the last 2 years have really been a major "U" in my walk. I had a high starting point, gradually went down hill and I have been able to gradually begin the journey back to where I should have been.  What scares me is the unknown. 

My freshman year of college God called me to music ministry which lead me to the church I attended for nearly 6 years. While I wasn't a music minister there, that is the tool He used to get me there so He could teach me.  It was a great church and looking back (and even while I was there) I could see God and all that He was doing in my life. 

About 3 years ago, God called me to youth ministry.  After preparing for that, finding a church, serving at a church, and then leaving that church, I am unsure as to what God is really asking me. I know He used the music ministry as a major part of my ministry with my teens I had there, but what is He asking of me now?

Honestly, I would love to work with teens again.  I feel like the last place I was at was a learning experience, God teaching me what not to do and what to look for in a church that I am to serve at. I know in my mind I am not ready, but you never know what God has planned because only He truly knows when you are ready.

So here I sit, thinking about my story and what God wants me to do with my life. I believe God doesn't want us to just be a part of life and drift through it, rather He wants us all to have eternal life (life lived to the fullest) and follow Him where He leads rather than sitting on the side lines letting life happen to us.  I know there are times He is going to ask us to Rest or Wait, but we have to be prepared for when He says Go and Do.  I feel like I am on the edge of that time when He says, "Do not be afraid, I am with you.  Step out in faith and follow Me." 

I do not really know what else to say other than I am going to pray that God makes His plan visible to me so that I know what He is asking of me.  Needless to say I am anxious, but I am also excited to be near the place where God wants to do something more in my life.