The last few days have been interesting. Not bad. Just interesting. I spent a big portion of Saturday with a friend who was photographing a wedding. I don't know that I really want to be a wedding photographer, but I have one to shoot this summer and I want to be prepared for it. I want to be able to give the client the best work I can provide.
It was a great experience. I enjoyed every minute of it. Watching someone who really knows what they are doing work a camera and move to get every shot was intriguing.
As we talked and he showed me his equipment I began to realize how much equipment he had and how he used most of it to create shots and high quality pictures that are beyond my limitation. I wouldn't say that I was envious. I would just say that it was a little overwhelming when it came to looking at my limitations compared to his. (Keep in mind I do know that it is the photographer that makes the great shot, not the equipment)
Over the next couple days I realized my car was going to need some work done, and our second car was acting a little funny. Then based on Obama's new tax hikes, cell phone bills going up, and the current state of the economy things were going to be a bit tighter than I had hoped.
This happens to me every year it seems. I go for a long time letting things just go and be as they are. Then for some reason I feel stress from what seems like things piling up. I get worked up and sometimes I even begin to physically start to feel sick.
That is how I felt.
I felt discouraged. I felt defeated. I felt like life was always going to be a struggle to get up.
On Tuesday, as I was driving I just felt like God was saying.... "Do you trust me?"
Of course I believe I trust God. I want to trust God. I wasn't trusting God.
He asked me a second time, "Do you trust me?"
Over and Over He asked me, "Do you trust me?"
As I thought about it, I began to remember all of my blog posts that I have written about how God has done things in my life that prove His existence. Things that have happened to me, that I have no explanation for other than God made it happen that way.
When I realized I could trust God and that my issue was that I was struggling believing that I could, a huge weight was lifted from my sholders. It wasn't that He had done anything to prove it. I just knew His hand was there and that I didn't have to worry.
Needless to say, He has been working since then. He reminded me of something that helped an issue with one car, He used my Dad to help me with my other car, and He used my wife to help comfort me in knowing that He has taken care of us this far and I just have to be patient and wait on Him.