For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed to us. For the anxious longing of the creation waits eagerly for the revealing of the sons of God.For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of Him who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself also will be set free from its slavery to corruption into the freedom of the glory of the children of God. For we know that the whole creation groans and suffers the pains of childbirth together until now. And not only this, but also we ourselves, having the first fruits of the Spirit, even we ourselves groan within ourselves, waiting eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our body. For in hope we have been saved, but hope that is seen is not hope; for who hopes for what he already sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, with perseverance we wait eagerly for it. -Romans 8:18-25
I spent a lot of time thinking over the last few months. If you followed my blog at all in the past you will know that I quit posting about 3 months ago. As I was thinking last night I finally realized what was different in months prior than the last few months. Over the last few months I began to lose hope in various situations in my life.
I didn't lose hope in God (at least not in the sense of being saved), nor did I lose hope in my family. It wasn't even a sense of lost hope in life to a point of depression. Rather it was a loss of hope in individuals. A loss of hope in circumstances. A loss of hope in rectified situations. A loss of hope in certain things would change.
When you remove a man's hope, you remove a big part of his ability to function. I tried hard not to lose my ability to be a good husband and a loving father. I knew I couldn't completely resolve to complete abandonment of responsibility.
I've heard it said before that we shouldn't place our hope in people. I agree, but sometimes....sometimes I wish we could hope that people would change....that they would chose to change. I know in my heart that really anytime any of us change for the better, it is because God is doing something in us. We are not really creating the change, but rather allowing God to change us. It's just hard when situations don't change...circumstances don't change. After a while... it is easy to lose hope. It's easy to lose hope in things we can't see. It's easy to lose hope when you can't see the future or know what the future might hold.
I can see why Paul tells us to have perseverance and to wait eagerly. He knew it would be hard, but he also knew the end result would be great.
Every once in a while I have to go back and watch the section of my last blog that I have shared below. It was a video by Zack Arias. While a big portion of the video is about photography, I see a great deal of the concept of hope within it. I don't know if he is a Christian or not, but the video sure reminds me of the hope that I can have.
I don't really have a plan as to where to go with this realization of lost hope. I know it will be a process of learning and trusting again. I also know that I don't want to stay where I am at and that I want God to continue to show me new things in my life.