Recently I have been really contemplating, studying, and searching for answers. We were having a discussion recently about if things can really be wrong or right and how that can easily turn into Legalism. I grew up in a legalistic church and moved to a less legalistic church, then to a church who taught grace and love, but then back to a church that was legalistic again. I hate attending churches that are legalistic, but I know through being there God has shown me so much. Not so much about what is right and wrong, but rather how even while God does have absolute truths, I believe are also shades of grey.
I believe God has given us the 10 commandments (not to be confused with suggestions) and ultimatly boiled them down to two rules to follow. Love the Lord with all your heart, mind, and soul....and Love your neighbor as yourself. Easy enough right? Then why is we have so many other rules that we have been told we have to follow, or worse yet, that we impose on others in order for them to be "Christian?"
I find that a lot of these rules really stem off things God has convicted individuals of. These convictions often stem off things that people are putting up as idols or putting before God. For instance...the bible says not to get drunk. It does not say not to drink. However, I can only imagine we got the "rule" from someone who said they were convicted by God not to drink. Why would they? Well either God knew they had an issue with becoming addicted to things, or they were addicted to achohol and that was a method of God releasing them from the addiction. Does this mean it is wrong for everyone? No... It is wrong for that person because God has convicted them of if, but it is not the alchohol itself that was the issue, but rather putting it before God is.
Ok, so thats part of it all, but how does that relate to loving your neighbor as yourself? Do we uphold someone else's conviction out of love for them? I believe that if God asks us to, we should. However, if they are growing in their walk, and you are growing in your walk. Their convictions will remain their convictions and your convictions yours. They don't need to be imposed on others, but through discussion maybe God could use one of you to help bring light to a conviction that one of you could have been surpressing.
I don't know that their is an easy way to explain it other than, your heart must be right. With your heart being right and being in a relationship ship with God, following His two rules (which will lead to following the 10 commandments), will not be a challenge and you will be searching for his truth and will know what He wants for you.