Monday, January 30, 2012

Praying for Clarity

I have been struggling a lot recently with conflicting thoughts about what to believe.  I want to believe what's right. I want to make sure I am not waisting my time...missing the point...missing what God has for me. 

We recently moved and have been attending a non-denominational church where for once I am free to learn to believe what I believe and search for truth in a whole new way.  It is something I have never been a part of before. 

You see a couple years ago, I was in a church that was everything I could have ever wanted.  I was growing.   We had great friends and spent a lot of time with them and through that was able to see God in a new way that what I ever have.  A lot has changed since then.  We moved to a church that was very much missing the point in so many ways and I begin to die. 

Since then I have been somewhat on a quest to find out what it is that I really believe.  Hence the beginning of this blog.  I am still struggling however with trying to see things through God's eyes rather than my eyes and what I have been taught.  I know I have been taught a lot of half truths. I know I have looked at things the wrong way.  I know I was legalistic in my thinking at times.  I want to get away from that.  I want to see the world as God does. I want His clarity.

The not so recent release of Love Wins by Rob Bell and Erasing Hell by Francis Chan has really gotten me thinking.  I love they way Chan challenges me.  I think he hits it right on the head in a lot of ways.  What if, however, Bell has it right in this case.  I can't believe right now that he does, but what if?  I love the way he looks at things differently to.  I know I can disagree with people and it be ok, but their is only one truth. 

Please pray for me as I dig to find out what the truth is.  I might never find it in this life, but I know that I will know more of who God is. 

PS. I miss my friends.  I miss being challenged by them spiritually and being able to trust that they were in the word and I knew that I was on the same page with them.  Life is hard without the right friends.

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