I have been struggling a lot recently with conflicting thoughts about what to believe. I want to believe what's right. I want to make sure I am not waisting my time...missing the point...missing what God has for me.
We recently moved and have been attending a non-denominational church where for once I am free to learn to believe what I believe and search for truth in a whole new way. It is something I have never been a part of before.
You see a couple years ago, I was in a church that was everything I could have ever wanted. I was growing. We had great friends and spent a lot of time with them and through that was able to see God in a new way that what I ever have. A lot has changed since then. We moved to a church that was very much missing the point in so many ways and I begin to die.
Since then I have been somewhat on a quest to find out what it is that I really believe. Hence the beginning of this blog. I am still struggling however with trying to see things through God's eyes rather than my eyes and what I have been taught. I know I have been taught a lot of half truths. I know I have looked at things the wrong way. I know I was legalistic in my thinking at times. I want to get away from that. I want to see the world as God does. I want His clarity.
The not so recent release of Love Wins by Rob Bell and Erasing Hell by Francis Chan has really gotten me thinking. I love they way Chan challenges me. I think he hits it right on the head in a lot of ways. What if, however, Bell has it right in this case. I can't believe right now that he does, but what if? I love the way he looks at things differently to. I know I can disagree with people and it be ok, but their is only one truth.
Please pray for me as I dig to find out what the truth is. I might never find it in this life, but I know that I will know more of who God is.
PS. I miss my friends. I miss being challenged by them spiritually and being able to trust that they were in the word and I knew that I was on the same page with them. Life is hard without the right friends.